$90 - Minimum Package (5-6 characters)

$120 - Basic Package (5-7 characters)

$170 - Standard Package (10 characters)

$210 - Double Package (14-15 characters)

Villain lines

Hero lines

Antihero lines

Anime lines

Cartoon lines

Comedy lines

Fantasy lines

Supporting character lines

Emotional, Romantic, Misc. lines

I'm Leaving

Camped Too Far

Answer Or Annihilate

The Chicken Egg

I Am The Weapon

Enjoy Your Wine

Nice Try Snitch

The Prophecy Festival

With Or Against Me

Canopy

Don't Meet Your Heroes

Angel vs Devil - The Order (note: this script has 3 characters, but one of them only has 1 short line)

The Mothership

No Mercy

Bad Business

Bigshot With A Secret

Classic Bard Move

A Vampire's Power

Baby Allen - Nancy, John, Baby Allen

Baby Allen 2 - The Psychologist - John, Baby Allen, Psychologist, Receptionist (note: the receptionist character only has a couple of lines)

The Villain Family - Quake’s Secret - Inferno, Mastermind, Tempest, Quake

(Commanding, inspiring OR angry, intense) They think that we're pawns. And maybe we are...But the funny thing about chess...is that sometimes, pawns can slay kings.

(Pained, anger) You have taken everything from me! I vowed to fight for good. But now? I'm only fighting so I can watch you bleed.

(Hopeful, inspiring) I know it'll be tough. But regardless of how strong they may be, we have something that they don't. We have something worth fighting for.

(Determination, confidence) You're right. I've spent my whole life feeling like a failure. But that ends today! Now come on, we've got a world to save.

(Pleading, desperation) You can't keep doing this! Can't you see the pain you're causing? I know the world has been unfair to you, but this is not the answer to your problems!

(Fierce, anger, threatening) I would do anything to protect them, ANYTHING! If I see you anywhere near them, ever again, we're gonna have a problem. Is that clear?

(Inspiring, rallying) Remember what we are fighting for! We're not just fighting for our kingdom, we're fighting for our homes. We're fighting for our friends, our loved ones, our children! We're fighting to give our future generations the safety, the freedom that we did not have! If we remember those reasons, there's no way we can lose. Now let's ride!

(Wise, sage-like, calm) You can only borrow the powers of nature, not harness them. See how the water of the river flows as I ask, and how the great oak lends it's strength to me freely. I do not demand, I request. And as the forest knows me, it gives happily. Give Mother Nature respect, and She shall return it to you.

(Anger, spiteful) You're wrong! Mercy is not for the weak. It is for those who deserve it...And you've caused far too much pain to deserve mercy from me!

(Disappointment, resolved) I had the chance to choose between what was right, and what was easy...and I chose wrong. But I've been fighting every day to fix my mistake.

(Explanatory, concerned) Not much is known about them yet, but we've been calling them Sleep-swappers. They're beings that can invade your dreams, and then take over your body from within them. They leave your consciousness trapped in a state of dreaming.

(Panic into shock/terror) (Huffing) Alex! We need to get out of here! Now! It already got Hannah, it won't be long until- (sudden realization) no....NO! ALEEEEEXXXX!!!

(Confident, taunting) (getting punched effort) (pained chuckle, heavy breathing) Three against one huh? That's not fair. (attack effort) You're gonna need more than that if you want it to be even.

(Frustrated, desperation) (sounds of struggle, trying to break restraints) No! We've tried that! We've tried everything, and none of it has worked! This is the only option left! Get OFF of me!

(Protective, commanding) (heavy labored breathing from running) Keep moving, and don't look back! We're almost to the safehouse. (sound of tripping and falling, cry of pain) (through gritted teeth) Leave me! Just go! I SAID GO!

(Frustrated, commanding) Listen to me! The changelings are coming, whether we're ready or not! If you wanna waste what little preparation time we have sulking and pouting, then be my guest. But I'm not giving up yet. I refuse to go down without a fight. Remember what Commander Murphy always told us...You can accept your fate, or you can try to change it. I've made my choice. It's time to make yours.

(Spiteful, angered) I know the risks, and I am willing to take them! I would gladly trade my life for the freedom of our people. I would hope you'd do the same.

(Angry, spiteful) Justice...right. (scoff) Everybody keeps saying that. Everybody keeps reassuring me that we'll get "justice", like that means ANYTHING to me! Justice is a lie! He will NEVER be able to pay for what he's done. No sentence is long enough, no dungeon is dark enough, no guillotine is sharp enough! (Heavy breaths) He took her from me. Nothing he has or ever will have can compare to what he has taken...(pause)...so do what you wish with him. But don't you dare call it justice.

(Sly, arrogant, taunting) Well well well, what do we have here? A little lamb come to play with the wolf? You're just in time, I was just getting hungry.

(Rising anger, threatening) You are no more significant than insects to me. I have conquered kingdoms, defeated armies, slain GODS! So I suggest you give up, now.

(Maniacal, unhinged) There's no such thing as heroes and villains! We're all villains! It's just that those who live to tell the tale will always paint themselves as the heroes.

(Taunting, venomous) Is that truly your best? Pathetic. And such a shame, I thought you might actually be worth my time. But it appears I was mistaken. Now, beg for mercy.

(Stoic, assertive OR nonchalant, sarcastic) Time and time again self-proclaimed heroes will take justice into their own hands, no matter the cost. I'm just the one who holds them accountable.

(Insane joy, amusement) I forsaw, I PLANNED every single step you took. You are no more than a puppet, and I the puppeteer, pulling the strings and watching you dance. So dance for me puppet, DANCE!

(Calm, calculated OR deranged clarity) "Good" people are nothing but stepping stones for those willing to exploit them. Is a clean conscience really worth a lifetime of being walked over?

(Disgust, disdain) I existed far before you humans INFESTED this planet. And I shall exist long after you are exterminated like the pests that you are. You are temporary, but I...am eternal.

(Anger, demanding, into malicious happiness) They have crossed me for the last time. I offered them mercy and they spat in my face! 500 gold to the person who brings them to me! And bring them alive...I want them to look me in the eyes as they suffer.

(Condescending, taunting) Surely you've heard the tales of my power. And yet, here you stand before me. (chuckle) The foolishness of humanity never fails to surprise me. So tell me, are you here to kneel, or to perish?

(Maniacal, unhinged) Oh I wish you could see the looks on your faces! The pain - the AGONY is simply...delicious.

(Open to any interpretation) Why are you running from me?? I just want to play a little game! Don't you like games?! All this running is just making me hungrier!

(Sly, arrogant, taunting) Oh, you poor thing. Watching your look of determination fade into desperation and helplessness...I almost pity you…almost.

(Rising anger OR cold, calculated) Standing against me is futile! I have already won. If you truly wish to throw away your life away for a cause that has already been lost, then so be it! But do not expect mercy from me.

(Unhinged, maniacal) All you heroes are the same! Cogs in the very machine that you seek to destroy. But don’t you worry! I am the wrench that you so desperately wish to be.

(Calm, calculating) Save your breath. Because in my eyes, YOU are the villain. You're so caught up in your blisfully ignorant ideals that you have become blind to the truth. I do what must be done, regardless of the consequences. So try to stop me if you wish, but do not confuse your naivety for heroics.

(Unpredictable, unhinged) Think of the people?? (laugh) Why would I think of the people, when they have never ONCE thought of me?! They left me to rot when I needed them most. They turned a blind eye, and allowed my hatred to fester, my mind to twist for YEARS! So now when I try to "think of the people", all I can think of is how to make them feel the way they made me feel.

(Maniacal, raving) Rules weren't made to be broken, no no no, rules were made to be tested. How far can we inch past the line before getting a slap on the wrist? How much can we twist and bend them to fit our needs. And I'm not talking about bending them myself! I'm talking about those who make the rules. Why do you think it's so easy for people to find loopholes in rules and laws? The "upstanding citizens" who make the rules leave them there purposely, just so they can skirt around them later. Following them is a sucker's game. And I'm no sucker.

(Unhinged, but methodical) Behold my magnum opus, The Orchestra! (laugh) don't their screams form the most wonderful melody? (counting in time) One two three...one two three...Ahh, only a trained ear can appreciate such a hauntingly beautiful dissonance. So tell me, are you here to dance?

(Stoic OR rising anger) Doctors are praised for curing other ailments that cause pain and suffering, while I am shunned for curing the worst of them all! Emotions are a disease; a PLAGUE upon humanity! Once I spread my serum, you will see that I was right all along! No more sadness, no more fear, no more anger, no more pain! I will be hailed as a hero, and you will go down as history's most vile villain for attempting to stop me!

(Rising anger, furious) My own people, criticizing my actions. The very people I lifted from the filth with my bare hands, now have the audacity to question me. Had I not saved you, you would all still be NOTHING! But because of the luxuries I have bestowed upon you, you have forgotten how it feels to have empty stomachs, how it feels to sleep upon the dirt. Perhaps it is time for you to be reminded. Perhaps if I set my kingdom ablaze, and take away everything that I have given you, you will remember. I am not opposed to a fresh start, a new beginning, if it reminds you all of your place. You may have the title of noble, but you are still nothing more than my subjects. It would do you well to keep that in mind.

(Sorrowful, character's last words) I never thought this day would come...although, I always knew it needed to. All I wanted was to change the world, but power is...a parasite. I could feel it - always- eating away at me from the inside. My ambition overcome by it's tendrils of corruption, as they constricted my mind! (gasp of pain) I thought I was strong. I won countless battles and yet...I could not win against my own nature. I say this not as an excuse, but as a warning. Do not follow in my footsteps. Please.

(Rising anger) I was not born with this power. It was not given to me by the grace of some divine decree...no. I took it. I wrenched it from the hands of the very beings who sat here before me; I fought tooth and nail against their thunder and fire, and STILL emerged victorious. So I offer you a choice. Kneel of your own will. Or kneel by my fist.

(Unhinged, maniacal) Hate you? (laugh) How could I hate you, when you are my greatest work! Just look at what you've become! Look at what you have lost, what you have WILLINGLY sacrificed, all in the pursuit of defeating me. (chuckle) And perhaps one day you will defeat me...but if that day does come, I will ensure that there is NOTHING left of what you were. You will only be what I have made you.

(Matter of fact, calm) Do not mistake my actions for cruelty. Everything I do, I do for us. I would tear down empires, topple nations, reduce the entire world to ashes, all with a smile on my face, in the name of our love. The world has not been kind to us. So why should I be kind to it?

(Arrogant, mocking) It's funny, how you can learn so much about a man when he is faced with true hopelessness. Some remain strong and proud, while others snivel. They beg and squirm until the very last moment. It's poetic really, that those who have been in control for their entire lives...are usually the latter. I wonder which you will be? (smirk) Though I have the feeling I already know.

(Mocking, calm) Oh you poor, poor thing. You seem to think I care about "winning". I stopped caring about winning long before I ever met you. I've accepted that people like me are meant to lose. After all, the game is rigged against us from the start. And yet - They still expect us to play by their rules. Surely even someone as rigid as yourself can see the humor in that, can't you? So don't bother with the long winded speech about how I'll always lose. I know. But I'm gonna have some fun before I do.

(Unhinged, maniacal) People always says that the world is not fair. But I never liked that. All I’m trying to do is MAKE it fair. If we all can’t be on top, then I’ll drag everyone down to the bottom. Then it’ll be fair.

(Arrogant, sly) I don’t need to be stronger. I don’t even need to be smarter. Because while you are bound by the chains of law and morality, I am unburdened by either. And for that reason alone, I will always. Always.

(Sly, condescending) Humans. So eager to trade their souls for a mere century of wealth, or fame. They do not grasp the concept of ETERNAL suffering. (smirk) But I ensure that they learn quickly. And once they do, their despair is simply...delicious.

(Anger, spiteful) You think I used YOU? No no no, you were the one that tried to use me! I made it very clear that you were nothing to me but a means to an end, yet you still tried to use me to fill whatever void you have in your heart. So let me say it again...You mean nothing to me.

(Condescending, mocking) Tell me, do you truly believe that your soul is worth anything to me? That mortal souls are hard to come by? (laugh/chuckle) Perhaps you should have read that cute little tome that you used to summon me more closely. For your sake I hope you have something better to offer. Because I'm leaving here with your soul either way.

(Angry, spiteful OR stoic, calm) Nobody cared about me until I became a threat. But guess who made me this way? Guess who's lack of empathy forced me to take matters into my own hands?! And if you slay me, another will simply take my place! For I'm nothing more than a symbol. A symbol of those forgotten, those trampled by the system. And people like me are in no short supply. The system is broken beyond repair. And if something cannot be fixed, it must be dismantled and reforged! You fight for a greedy King who refuses to help his most vulnerable citizens, while I fight for the good of those very people! So remind me...who is the real villain?

(Cold, calm OR anger into cruel) Over the years I spent so many nights wide awake, thinking about what I’d say to you when I caught you. But now that I finally have you here? I think I’ll let my blade do the talking.

(Bitter, stoic OR nonchalant) I used to believe in the justice system, until I watched it fail time and time again. Now? I have my own idea of justice. And it cannot fail.

(Anger, accusatory) Do not preach to me about choice! Not every choice is between good and bad! I chose “bad” only because the other option was “worse”.

(Stoic OR rising anger OR sarcastic) Why would I bargain with a mortal? I don't think you grasp the meaning of immortality. Even in captivity, I will outlive you. I will outlive your children, your children's children, and so on, for as many generations as it takes. And if I am not freed, then I will simply wait. For the stone of my prison to crumble. The metal of it's bars to corrode. Even if it takes one hundred millennia, I WILL be free. So by all means, keep me captive for as long as you wish. No amount of time you can fathom compares to the eternity that I have and will live.

(Heartfelt, loving) I've said it before and I'll say it again, without you...none of this matters. I promised you that one day I would give you..everything, and I intend to keep that promise. And before you say it - I know, you don't need everything. But you deserve it. And they...they deserve what's coming. So avert your eyes if you wish, but please. Let me do what must be done, for you. For us. I love you.

(Comforting, loving, slightly unhinged) So please, do not fear my actions, my love. They are merely a means to an end. A world without us is a world not worth living in. And I will stop at nothing to ensure that we are together, forever.

(Slight anger, spite) I was just like you once...I thought they loved me too. Enjoy it while it lasts. Because all it takes is one mistake, one tiny STUPID mistake for them to hate you. And that's when you'll realize that it was never love that they had. Behind their smiles and cheers...it was always fear. They try to hide it, but they're scared of people like us, and they should be! Because you and I are different. And if there's one thing people can't stand, it's things that are different.

(Slight anger, confident) Every day we wait, more and more people are getting hurt. I've had enough. I don't care about the consequences anymore...I'm ending this today.

(Anger) Don't try to paint yourself as some kind of victim. Going through pain doesn't give you the right to inflict it upon others!

(Desperate, pleading) To hell with the village! I won't let you sacrifice yourself! I need you! Without you I...I don't have anything...Please.

(Spiteful, degrading) I only allowed you to live this long because I found your "heroic" antics amusing. But you have outlived your value as my jester. I no longer have use for you. So this time, I won't hold back.

(Anger, pained, betrayed) How could you join them?! You were my best friend, but look at yourself! You've become a monster! Best friend or not, I won't allow you to hurt anybody else!

(Loving, heartfelt) Before I met you, my world was just...grey. But you opened my eyes, you showed me the beauty in life. So when I find myself staring at the branches of a tree, swaying gently in the wind, or listening to the quiet babbling of a river...I always think of you.

(Grateful, happiness) I never really express this but, I'm truly grateful for you all. Whether you were aware of it or not, you've all helped me through things that I could not have gotten through on my own. You mean the world to me, and I could not have asked for a better group of weirdos to call my friends. (chuckle) So from the bottom of my heart...thank you.

(Cold, condescending OR amused, arrogant) Ragged breaths, slumped posture, perspiration...all signs of fatigue. Humans are so simple to read...and even simpler to defeat, it would seem. Our battle has only just begun, and you're already exhausted. Hmm, pity. I truely expected more from you.

(Desperate, anxious) You don't understand! If Annie drinks from the Lightspring, she'll become a monster! NOBODY can control the spring's power. It'll take her over, and she'll become just like the Horde...maybe even worse...

(Positivity masked sadness) Not every goodbye means forever. And hey who knows, maybe next time we cross paths, things won't be so crazy anymore. I look forward to that day. Goodbye.

(Comforting, calm) "What if's" can be a poison to the mind. You made your choices for a reason, my son. So rather than dwelling upon what COULD have been, try to celebrate what IS.

(Comforting, calm) It's easy to get lost on the path of life. It's so full of twists, and turns and dead ends. But luckily for us, we have those that we love to be our guides. Regardless of how strong they are...nobody gets through it alone.

(Sorrowful, but encouraging) Well, here we are. The last stop. This has been, incredible. I never thought I'd see you again...I just wish we could go around one more time. But rules are rules. Just promise me that you'll live life to the fullest, okay? For me? Because you never know which day will be your last. So you get off of here, and you go live your dreams. You go be the best damn actress the world has ever seen, and just know...That after every single performance, I'll be here cheering so loud they'll threaten to kick me off the train. I love you. Always remember that, okay? Goodbye.

(Reassuring, gentle OR tearful goodbye) Please, don't cry. This is what I was born to do...Hey, look at me. I'll see you again soon, okay? I promise.

(Intense, commanding OR calm, unafraid) Enough! The time for talking has passed! Pick up your sword and face me! Let's see if you truly live up to your name.

(Taunting, arrogant) Aye matey, ye picked the wrong seas to set sail on. These here are my waters. Hopefully that cut on yer leg doesn't attract the sharks. Now walk the plank!

(Sarcastic OR calm, peaceful) I think that things happen for a reason. Maybe today's difficulty will lead to tomorrow's tranquility. (chuckle) Well, I hope so at least. I guess we'll find out when we get there.

(Eccentric, worried, confused)No no nononono this can't be happening! I've run the numbers 1000 times! Did I make an error...? No! Never!

(Slight anger, venomous) That is what you will never understand, Lord Ellias. Your family's coin does not outweight the will of my people. Nothing does.

(Amused, sarcastic) Well look who it is, I didn't think I'd be seeing you again so soon. I hope for your sake you came better prepared this time. I suppose we'll find out soon, won't we? So, shall we begin?

(Arrogant, hint of threatening) I used to be afraid of the dark. Until I learned that the scariest things in life are the ones that have no need to hide.

(Confident, persuasive) That's why you need me. My eyes see what others miss, and my hands take what others can't.

(Calm, matter of fact) Too many people have been fooled into believing that it's better to die with honor than to live without it. But I'm no such fool.

(Sly, arrogant) Everybody loves to blabber on about how "actions speak louder than words". Thing is, you can't do either with a sliced throat.

(Confident, spiteful) That is where you and I differ. You are nothing more than a mere whisper in the winds of eternity. But I...(chuckle/smirk) I AM the winds.

(Frantic, scared) Anna? Anna! No no no no, please wake up, please! Anna! No...Help! Somebody help us! I can't...I can't, I need you, please! I can't do this alone! Why? Why couldn't it be me? I brought us here and now...I'm sorry Anna, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...

(Impassioned, rallying) We are the foundation of this kingdom, the backbone that holds it together. We are the ones who work tirelessly day in and day out, to ensure it continues to run. We are the ones who bear the weight of the Castle upon our shoulders, the ones who fight and die to protect those who can not. And yet, time and time again, when we need him most - the King turns his back upon us. A King that chooses the wellbeing of his coffers over the wellbeing of his people is no King at all. And so my brothers and sisters, I ask you. Will you join me and fight against tyranny, fight for what we deserve?

(Anger, disdain) You have taken advantage of my kindness for the last time! Twice I have offered you mercy, and twice I have been made a fool. I will not make the same mistake a third time.

(Excitement, over the top) Hello and welcome to the lovely land of Cresentia!! Pardon my excitement, it's been such a long time since we've had visitors!

(Condescending, slight anger) Do you not know where you stand? Every home in this kingdom is built upon the bones of enemies long since slain. You walk freely the cobble of it's roads that have been paved with their blood. Do not pretend you are unaware of our past, that you have not benefitted from the violence of our ancestors. I simply follow in their footsteps! I expand my Kingdom not for myself, but for you. For our future generations! So if you are unwilling to pick up a sword and slay those who stand in our Kingdom's way...then your remains can join theirs in it's foundations.

(Disgust, venomous) Hold your tongue, human. I care not whether you are King or peasant, your blood will taste the same either way.

(Calmly threatening, yet intrigued) You know, bravery often overlaps with stupidity. Coming here was certainly a bit of both. Nonetheless, I am intrigued. So tell me, why have you come?

(Intense, rising fervor) It is more than a desire, it is a necessity. An aching, gnawing sensation that slowly consumes your every thought, until there is nothing left...but hunger.

(Disgust, disdain) You mortals are so obsessed with the notion of creating something that will outlive you. Whether it be art, or family, or empire, you are all consumed by the desire to leave something - anything - behind. But why? Is it because you wish to be remembered? For tales to be told about your life and legacy? No. It is nothing but fear. The fear of being forgotten. Do not meddle in affairs that do not concern you. Or your fears may very well become reality.

(Friendly, eccentric) Welcome, welcome!! I have so much to show you! Come, follow me! But watch your step, the stepping stones have a tendency to dance around!

(Excitement, wonder, into disgust) Wow! This place is beautiful! It's even more amazing than I imagined! -Wait a second, you invited them?! (scoff) This place stinks.

(Energetic, quirky) Wake UP! Adventure awaits! We can't save the world if you're too busy sleeping! (sigh) I deserve a raise.

(Nervous, wimpy, shock/terror) Ohhh, how do we always wind up in the darkest, scariest caves?! I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid, I'm not-...AFRAAAAAAID!

(Bored, nonchalant OR excitement into disappointment) Hello birthday party attendees, it is I, Super Possum. (pause, sigh) What’d you expect, Batman? Your parents only paid for the basic package alright, take it up with them!

(Joy, pride into defeat OR breakdown/sobbing) Okay, open your eyes! Tada! I've spent the last 37 years precisely placing each and every one of these blocks, to create an exact replica of- NO DON'T TOUCH.......it...no it's fine, only 37 years of dedication down the drain!

(Frustration, condescending) Ugh, for the last time, it's two sparkle dewdrops mixed with one cup of sunshine rainbow extract! And you call yourself a magical fairy glitter princess? (Scoff) Get with the program!

(Exasperated, nervous) How does this keep happening, and why is it always us? Is a quiet, disaster free weekend too much to ask for? I mean seriously, it's like no matter what we do, we always wind up in some sort of perilous situation. I know, I know you said we need to stay quiet, but I'm kinda freaking out here, and when I freak out I babble. It's like my mind is going a million miles an hour and I just need to let it out or I'll explode. Ugh...I knew coming here was a bad idea.

(Demanding) I told you! I want my house to have a marshmallow couch, with candy cane floors, and licorice curtains! And it had better be REAL licorice, not those hideous Twizzlers. (pause) I don't care if it rots! I'll just buy more!!

(Condescending, venomous) You call this a stew?! I've seen more appetizing looking bowls in the bathroom of a Taco Bell! (sniff) Ugh! Better smelling too!

(Enticing, persuasive) Come one come all, to the world's most incredible, most mystifying, most spectacular show in all the land! Guaranteed to leave your jaws on the floor and leave you begging for more! Seats are limited, so buy your tickets now!

(Vampire-like voicemail) I vant you to leave a message! (chuckle) Just kidding, you've reached (Name), I'm probably out on a hunt right now, so leave your name and I'll get back to you. Bleghh!

(Scared, incredulous) I mean yeah, we're TECHNICALLY it's defenders, but we've never ACTUALLY had to defend it! It's been 10,000 years since the last time this happened!

(Annoyed, angry) Hey!! That was a rental! (sigh) I knew I should have just paid for the insurance. You really wanna do this huh? Alright, you asked for it.

(Slightly mocking) (Dodging an attack) Woah! Come on, can't we just talk about this? (hit by an attack) Okay, I'll take that as a no.

(Genuine, heartfelt, pleading) Sometimes people just...grow apart. It doesn't mean either of them did anything wrong, and that love is often still there, but...it's just not the same. And it hurts. But do you know what hurts worse? When you don't donate to wikipedia. If everybody reading this donated just $0.45, the price of one Goldfish Snack Pack, we could buy so many Goldfish Snack Packs. Thank you.

(Over the top, crazy announcer) MAAAAAAAN spray for MANLY MEN! Are you MANLY enough to take 500 CCs of pure stag musk straight to those pathetic little pits? My/his armpits have TRIPLED in width and depth thanks to manspray. Now THAT'S manly. (read quickly) Chauvinism Incorporated is not liable for chemical burns or any other bodily harm caused by man spray.

(Frustrated into genuine) Ugh, why do you always do this? Can't you just enjoy things?? Your superhero name should be Complainer-Man, because you always find something to complain about! Sure, our ship is on fire, and yeah, we're probably gonna be stranded here for months. But look at the trees! Look at the sky! If you always focus on the awful life-threatening situations we find ourselves in, you'll never be able to appreciate the beauty in life!

(Nervous, quick) Work for him?! I never even met the guy! Trust me I would never get involved with such sketchy stuff, my mamma always told me that I'm a good egg, and that I shouldn't get scrambled up with the rotten ones, those are words to live by, and live by them I have! I even used to have a doormat that said "good egg", and it was shaped like an egg, but somebody stole it, so now I have one that says "wipe your dang feet", but that's only because I couldn't find another good egg one, I promise!

(Happy) Well golly, nobody's ever called me a hero before. They've called me lots of other things, but...most of them weren't very nice words.

(Arrogant) Hey you! Bring me a very round rock, to match my very round muscles. If you do, I will flex for you twice. Here's a little preview, UNHHH! Impressive, right?

(Senile, insulting) You'd be a fool to go out there! I mean look at yourself, you're softer than a bowl of oatmeal! And not including the bowl of course, just the squishy...oatmeal part.

(Reminiscent into sadness/anger) It was the first day of 3rd grade. I made a joke, during introductions. I introduced myself as Nunya. Nunya Business. (laugh) Mrs. Beyr laughed. "You're going to be a class clown, aren't you?", She said. And from that moment on, I knew my purpose. For the last 23 years, I've dedicated myself to comedy, to the ancient, sacred duties of the clown. But it was all for naught. I have come to discover that nobody wants clever political commentary. Nobody wants wit and wordplay, nobody wants a clown of class! All they want is Physical Comedy, the lowest, most base form of humor. So it is with a heavy heart, that I hang up my wig and nose. And with it, I hang up my dreams.

(Enthusiastic, upbeat) Thneed season is upon us! And everybody needs a thneed! So what are you waiting for?! Grab your family, grab your neighbor, grab your dog! Grab everybody and come on down to thneeds-R-us!

(Energetic, news-anchor-eque) Greetings, and welcome to Galax-Tea! Your source for all the piping hot tea that's being spilled around the Galaxy. Our first story tonight, Pluto! Is it really a planet? Or is it something far more sinister? A leaked conversation between Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk might point to the latter. In the 32 minute audio recording, you can hear the two men laughing after referencing a "Plutonian surveillance" system. Have these big-wigs been secretly spying on us from space? Is that why I've been getting ads for hemorrhoid cream despite never searching for it? The world may never know for certain. That's all the time we have for tonight, but be sure to join us tomorrow when we discuss Saturn. Are it's rings really made of cheese? The answer may shock you. (Your name) signing off.

(Exasperated, disbelief) Did you tweet this?! "Yo Hellen Keller was bad AF"?!? (sounds of disbelief) You can't say that! This is the 3rd reckless tweet this week! (sigh) PR is gonna kill me...

(Cheerful into threatening) Here at Pizza Hut HQ we've been getting a lot of feedback recently. People are saying that we've been "cheaping out". Less cheese, smaller pizzas, using less meat on the Meat-sweats Supreme, and so on. Believe me, we've heard your concerns. But we've chosen to ignore them. I mean seriously, what are you gonna do, order Papa Johns? Don't make me laugh. You gonna call up LiTttLe cAeSarS?? HA, go ahead! You'll come crawling right back, just like they all do. You know why? Because NOBODY can outpizza the hut, you hear me?! NOBODY!!

(Mocking, exclaiming) Ugh, don't be such a wimp! Ghosts are about as real as IRS audits! I haven't paid taxes in YEARS and I'm a-okay!

(Disgust, anger, ferocity) I am the King/Queen/Ruler of this realm, and it is my responsibility to care for its people! I do not care what it costs, I will make sure my people are fed! Speak to me again about cutting costs, and I shall ensure we begin with YOUR position.

(Determined, but sorrowful) I'm tired of decisions being made for me! The world is so much wider than this kingdom, and I want to see it all! I'm sorry Mother, but I cannot stay here.

(Pleading, desperate) My Queen, please reconsider. This is not who you are! Do not let your anger get the best of you, revenge will not bring you the solace that you seek. Please, trust me.

(Worried, serious) This is the Mothertree - the source of all magic in Everia. As you can see, it has begun to wither, and we're not quite sure why. If it were to die, all of our floating cities would plummet to the ground. It would be a catastrophe...we need to find a cure.

(Friendly, cheerful) Welcome to the Lazy Dragon! My, what an interesting looking group! You must be adventurers. I bet you have some stories to tell eh? Find a table anywhere, I'll be round soon to take your orders!

(Disdain, spiteful) King? (chuckle) Your fancy titles mean nothing here. This forest is OUR home! It belongs not to any one person, but to us all! Go back to your kingdom, nobody here shall bow to the likes of you.

(Threatening, serious) The choice should be simple, really. Bow, or perish. If you truly value your "loyalty" to a dead King that much, then you can join him in an early grave.

(Serious, slight disdain) The job of a ruler is not as enchanting as it may seem. For most, their difficult decisions impact only themselves and their families, while mine impact entire nations.

(Sly, persuasive) Ah, but you see my Queen, diplomacy is a war in and of itself. Grace and composure are our sword and shield. And if need be - bribery, our cloak and dagger.

(Anger, spiteful) My father may turn a blind eye to your corruption, but when I am ruler I shall ENSURE that your betrayals are not forgotten. And you will pay dearly for them.

(Confident) For far too long, rulers have put the purses of nobility above the good of the people. This mistake, I vow to correct. My coffers may suffer. But my people shall not.

(Calm, slightly threatening) Lord Sully, if you truly see my compassion as weakness, you are more than welcome to test my strength personally. However I do recommend you declare an heir beforehand.

(Condescending, spiteful) Think of the people? (laugh) My father "thought of the people", and it got him nowhere but an early grave. He may have wanted you to speak your mind when he was ruler, but I'd much prefer you to keep your mouth shut, only opening it to say "yes your grace". Have I made myself clear?

(Matter of fact, slightly spiteful) You see things change when you wear this crown. What is "right" becomes secondary to what is necessary. I suspect you would kill for your family, if necessary? Then why is it that when I kill for my Kingdom for YOU, I am criticized? My scale is simply larger, my purpose more profound.

(Shady, sly OR eccentric) I can get ya just about anything, including things that are uh…hard to come by, if you catch my drift. So tell me, what are ya lookin for?

(Border, grumpy, sarcastic) (sigh) Let me guess, you're here to fight the archmage? (short pause) No, I'm not gonna stop you, I only get paid 15 copper a day, you go right on ahead, have a blast.

(Stoic, serious) Of course stealing is wrong, no thief will deny it. But believe me, I'd do much worse than steal to put food in my kid's stomach if I needed to. Morals don't pay the bills.

(Protective, fierce) Let me make this very clear. I don't care who you are. If you ever so much as LOOK at them ever again, you're gonna need a whole lot more than a few guards to protect yourself from me.

(Stern, but caring) You were in the mountains again weren't you? (exasperated sigh) I told you not to go there alone! Look, I know you can handle yourself, but there are so many things that can go wrong...I just don't want you to get hurt.

(Disgust, bewilderment) Wait wait wait, you're suggesting we team up with HIM?! No! Noooo way, absolutely not! There's not enough gold in the MULTIVERSE to convince me to work with such a...FOPDOODLE! (huff, slight pause) It's a real word, look it up!

(Serious/intense into energetic/performative) You guys go in, I'll take care of the guards. (crack knuckles/neck) It's showtime. (demeanor changes) Hello Blackgate Prison! I'm (name) and I'm your entertainment for tonight! So kick back, relax, look away from the security cameras, and get ready for some musical comedy!

(Genuine, impressed) Alright, alright I'll admit it! This is way better than my recipe. What did you use in this sauce? Mmm! And that little hint of sweetness on the bacon, ugh, I could die happy right now.

(Extreme excitement, heartfelt) Wait, are you serious?! Like no joking, cross your heart, pinky promise serious??? (laugh of disbelief) That's amazing!! I knew they'd pick your painting, I knew it! (breath of relief) Congratulations!

(Calm happiness, reminiscent) You know, it's funny how life works sometimes. Growing up, I never pictured myself here. But now? I can't picture myself anywhere else.

(Sadness, longing) I just...miss you! Why is that so hard for you to understand? I feel like I never get to see you anymore...like you're too busy for me...

(Loving, joy, gratitude) The amount of joy you bring to my life is immeasurable. You are everything to me. And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.

(As if you're reading OR writing a letter) My dearest, writing to you is often an exercise in futility. How am I meant to find the words to describe a love like ours? I can write line after line, page after page, and yet I still feel as though there are words left unsaid. Perhaps if I fill all the world's paper with poetry and prose, I can come close. Consider this page 1. With all of my love, Yours.

(Grateful, heartfelt) I love that I can be myself with you. For so long, I felt like I needed to hide my true self, like I wasn't good enough. But you make me comfortable enough to take off that mask, and now I can finally breathe. Thank you for letting me be me.

(Explosive OR slow rising anger/rage) I told you it was a bad idea! But just like always, you did it anyway! Now you have the audacity to come here, and tell me you're sorry?! "Sorry" isn't going to bring him back!

(Hesitant, but heartfelt/loving) I know that you're scared of being hurt, and I am too. But these last few months with you have made me feel like...I can love again. I know it'll be hard, and we both have a lot of work to do, but, I'm willing to try. Are you?

(Overwhelmed, despair, sadness) It's not fair! It's not! I try so hard, every single day, but it's just one thing after another and I just- (pained exhale/sob)...I'm so tired.

(Calm, caring) You know, it’s easy to get caught up thinking about the way things could have been. Trouble with that is it doesn't leave you much time to appreciate the way things are.

(Sadness OR Anger) You're giving up? After everything we've been through? You and I made a promise...you can't just go back on it now! I can't go on without you...I need you. We need each other. Don't do this.

(Heartbreak, sadness) Of course you are, because that's what you do! You take. You take and you take, until I have nothing left, and then you ask me for more. I can't even blame you anymore, I know, I KNOW what you do...yet here I am, broken again. I don't know if I can put myself back together this time.

(Loving, happiness) I used to hate romance movies. Watching the character look at a rock on the ground and smile, because it vaguely looked like a heart. (laugh) I thought it was the corniest thing ever. And yet, today I found myself smiling and bending down to pick up...this, on the way here. A vaguely heart shaped rock, for you. I guess I kinda get it now.

(Calm, descriptive) Deep sunken lines between her brows, a constant reminder of her lifetime of frowns. And yet, the light in her eyes never dwindled. As hard as the world may try, it would never snuff out the fire in her soul.

(Grieving a loss) TW: Heavy theme I've been so...angry lately. Angry at myself, angry at other people...even angry at you. Everyone keeps telling me that you're at peace, that I'll see you again soon, but how can they be sure? Why haven't you given me a sign? I need a sign, anything, to be sure that I WILL see you again. Please...I'm just so lost without you. I know you would want me to be strong, but I-...Please.....please...

(Overjoyed, grateful) I've spent countless nights dreaming of this very moment, hoping it would become a reality...and now it's here. I don't even know how to feel. Just know that YOU made this a possibility. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

(Calm, comforting) (chuckle) I used to be scared of that same thing, until I realized that...life's too short to spend time worrying about what other people think of me. I'd rather spend that time and that energy on the people who DO like me for me. My Grandma had this saying, 'you might be the sweetest peach on the tree, but some people just don't like peaches'. I'm pretty sure she got that off of a facebook meme, but the point still stands. Don't let that fear win. Become a person YOU like, and the rest will follow. Trust me, you got this.

(Sad, overwhelmed) It feels like...no matter how much I do, or how hard I try I always find myself right back where I started. I've poured my heart and soul into things, into people that I thought would help me break free from this cycle...but every time, every time, I just wind up right back here. I don't know how to move forward, or if I even CAN move forward. I feel so trapped. And I don't know how to break free.

(Narrative) She laid her head down upon the tattered old pillow. A familiar feeling. If only she could whisper back through time, to the young girl crying into the very same pillow. To tell her that things really would be better one day.

(Loving, genuine) You know how much I love you, right? I always feel like I don't say it enough, but saying it how much I should, saying it how much I FEEL would be...impossible. We'd never be able to talk about anything else (chuckle). I just feel so, so lucky to have you in my life, the amount of joy you bring to it is immeasurable. (light exhale) I guess what I'm trying to say is...Thank you, for everything.

(Sad, pleading) Look, I've made mistakes. More than I'd like to admit. But every single thing that I've done, I've done for us, and I would do it all again, 100 times over if it meant you were safe. I did what I had to do. I know that my actions have hurt you, and I know I've let you down, but please try to understand where I'm coming from. Please...I can't change the past, but I'm willing to do everything in my power to make things right going forward. So please, give me one more chance. Please.

(Desperate, anger) Note: Feel free to change pronouns! How many times do I have to tell you, I don't care! I love him! And I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. I know it'll be hard, and I know we'll have to fight, but our love is worth fighting for. You're the one who always told me to fight for what I believe in, but now you're saying I shouldn't? I don't understand why you can't just accept him. He makes me happy. And I'm not going to let you stand in the way of my happiness. Not anymore.

(Anger, sadness) Why? Why do you always do this? It feels like you only want to be my friend when I'm miserable, and any time I manage to claw my way out of the depths of hopelessness, you're at the top waiting to kick me back down. Is it because you can't stand to see me happy? Do you get some kind of sick pleasure seeing me suffer? Or is it because you're jealous? Maybe I've been wrong...Maybe you're not at the top waiting to kick me down. Maybe you're at the bottom, dragging me back down.

(Anger, heartbreak) Trust you? (scoff) Are you serious? You want me to trust you, after everything you've put me through...after all the lies, the heartache, the betrayal?! You HAD my trust! (pained breaths) You had it, and you broke it! You don't get to come back here and tell me to trust you, when that's the very reason I got hurt in the first place! You deserve NOTHING from me...least of all my trust.